shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize