Why are handjobs necessary in class?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
