it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
