brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
