maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
