I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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