Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
