A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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