Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize