is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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