I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
A+ Viking dick
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
