they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
