I must be too annoying 4 u.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
