Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
