On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
