btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
