you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize