Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
farters have to be the big spoon...
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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