If i come over, it means nothing
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I am available for nakedness
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
