if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
