I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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