omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
