just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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