if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
