Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize