Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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