Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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