White coat. Heels.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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