im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
