How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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