I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
