Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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