I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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