His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
