Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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