I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
