boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We need to feng shui this bitch.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
