Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
