i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
