come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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