How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
