I wish I only lived at night.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
