i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
