you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
