Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
