Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it hurts more in the daytime
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
