Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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