all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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