There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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