it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
only if we run a train.
done.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
