Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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