In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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