she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
