My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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