It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm at about main and main street
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
