Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i drank out of a bidet.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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