i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize