I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Floor bacon is actually really good
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
