You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
