Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
