hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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