I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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