Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
