you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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