all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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