no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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