The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
