You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just found puke in my bra..
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
