ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
