Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize