If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
