it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
