he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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